Celebrating Advent at Home

Advent is a special time in our family.  The word advent means coming and it's the time of year where we celebrate the coming of the Christ child.  Before Christmas, we quiet our hearts and let the simple, yet miraculous story of Christmas sink in.  We humble ourselves at the thought of God coming to us in human form, a child.

As a mother, one of my greatest joys is sharing these touching and life-changing stories with my kids.  And I have noticed something about the Christmas story in how it resonates deeply with children.  The fascination with babies and new life, and God lowering himself to become an equal to humankind, particularly an equal to children.  For children who often are left out, talked down to, and marginalized by adults in our world, this simple truth brings a message of great hope.

Today, I'm sharing a simple advent calendar/devotion (adapted from 1dogwoof.com) that we used in our family last year and plan to repeat in this coming season.  It is short and suitable for even very young children.  It tells the whole story of Christmas using scripture.  We were blessed by the opportunities it gave us to speak the gospel to our children.  We were surprised at how much impact it had on our then 3 year-old.  And besides, what child does not love a countdown to Christmas?!

We printed out the cards onto cardstock, and I had some helpers with cutting and gluing them onto some construction paper, which I numbered 1-25.  Then I used a Christmas card holder to display the cards.  If you know me, this is about as crafty as it gets for me!

Download the 25-day advent cards here.

We like to read the day's card at dinnertime, when we are all at the table already, and we take the opportunity to incorporate the scripture passage into our mealtime prayers.
 

Would you like to do more to bring the Christmas story home to your family?  Try some of these ideas too.

• Have a nativity scene in your home that is within reach of your kids, and let them play with it.
• Read children's literature that celebrates and depicts the biblical story of Christmas.
• Decorate your home for Christmas as a family and talk about why Christmas is meaningful to your faith.  Do your decoration choices point your children toward the true meaning of Christmas?
• Use an advent candle wreath along with the devotional cards (a new candle is lit each week).  We love a candlelit dinner and the kids love blowing out the candles afterward!
• At least once during the holidays, read through the entire account of Christ's birth in Luke 2.  Act out the story with a nativity or yourselves.  We do this on Christmas morning before we open presents.  If your kids are old enough, have them read aloud or play a speaking part.
• Play Christmas hymns and music with spiritual meaning in your home in lieu of secular Christmas songs.

We'd love to hear about other ways you enrich your family during Advent and Christmas!

the angel appearing to Mary (Christmas morning last year)

On Being Thankful

I have been going through a bible study focused on thankfulness over the past two weeks.  After coming head-to-head with some of the most well-known scriptures on thanksgiving and gratitude, I am beginning to understand how limited my view of thankfulness really is.  I'm learning a lot and since it is timely, I'd like to share some thoughts as we approach this week and the Thanksgiving holiday.

Thankfulness is not a feeling.
Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him, tell of all his wondrous works! 1 Chronicles 16:8

When I come across the topic of thankfulness, I usually start to make a catalog of all the good gifts God has given me, and it then of course reminds me how much I really take the blessings in my life for granted.  But I am learning that even if I simply recognized God's gifts, I would still be so far away from the kind of thankfulness God desires.

In other words, the age-old advice to "count your blessings" falls incredibly short.  To be truly thankful people, we must MAKE KNOWN his deeds and TELL of his works.  Simply making a mental note (or even a written one!) of "what I am thankful for" is not enough.  We must tell others the personal story of God at work in our lives - not only to a select few, but on a widespread scale.  This means that we should remind ourselves often of God's work and take every opportunity to acknowledge to others that all good things in our lives come from God.  We need to stop taking personal credit for things that God has done.  Thankfulness is so much more than a feeling; it is a way of life that seeks to glorify God in every moment.

Thankfulness is not dependent on good circumstances.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

So what about when we can't find much good around us?  How can we be thankful then, too?  When you serve a God who is in his essence full of goodness and love, thankful living doesn't depend on our circumstances.

Give thanks in all circumstances.  God is calling me to look past my own opinions about my life and instead celebrate his goodness.  No matter how I am struggling, God is still good, and God is still the ultimate king of my life, and I am his dear child.  I think there is also good reason that this high call to rejoice always is accompanied by some key advice - pray without ceasing.

Thankfulness is not quiet.
Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the the rock of our salvation.  Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! Psalm 95:1-2

Thankful living is not a quiet, reserved way of life.  The problem is that we tend to make all kinds of noise when we grumble, complain, or feel dissatisfied with our lives, and we bring God loud dishonor instead of praises.  Making a joyful noise brings God into the spotlight instead of us, and shows others who he really is and what he means to us.

So I'll leave you with this question:  what kind of noise are you making?

Miscarriage and a God Who Sees

October marks National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month. I've thought about writing on this topic for awhile, but I can never seem to find the words.  October is a particularly fitting month for our family too, since it is the anniversary of our baby's expected due date, the child we will never meet or know in this lifetime.

I remember it well - it was fairly early in my pregnancy, and even though I was almost sure the bad news was coming, that empty ultrasound, that sure confirmation, it hit me immediately in a tidal wave of grief.  The coming weeks were met with physical pain, sadness, confusion, and depression.  And the roller coaster of hormones and emotional instability that I remembered from being postpartum with my first child, well, that was there too, and would be for weeks.  Except this time, there was no baby.

no baby.

In a matter of weeks we had arranged ourselves excitingly around this precious little one.  Now, we had grief.  And yet, in the midst of this unexpected tragedy, the demands of life continued.  Only a few close family and friends really knew what had happened, and even fewer could really understand.  We had a child to care for, work schedules to attend to, and a large financial burden of medical bills associated with our loss.

even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. (Ps 139:12)

I kept trying to reason away my sadness.  I didn't even know this child.  I could try again.  But my sadness acknowledged that something significant had taken place, literally, within my own body. 
And at the heart of my grief was the awareness that God had created something beautiful and wonderful.
 
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. (Ps 139:13)

God is the creator, and no matter how much you argue the science of cells joining and dividing and growing, it takes something divine to match a soul up to a human person.  God did not create something temporary, he created someone eternal. So I praise him.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Ps 139:14)

God doesn't promise to keep us from the tragedies of the world, and sometimes it hurts.  It really hurts.  There are a million horrors in this broken world, bringing us and our fellow man deep chasms of pain and unrest.  In the case of my child, I have learned to have peace in the not-knowing, in laying my life and the lives of those around me into the Hands that formed and began us all, the God and author of my soul.  Whom else could be better trusted with my life?

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  (Ps 139:15)

Someday as we approach the throne of God, we will worship with all of the souls of heaven.  We will worship with the souls of pregnancies lost, stillborn babies, infants who died too soon.  We will worship with the souls unknown except by God, with those unwanted and those deemed unnecessary.  God has redeemed that which is broken and dead, and has seen and saved those who have gone unseen by man.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Ps 139:16)

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About 25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, accounting for around 500,000 total losses each year in the US alone.  Today, I encourage you to pray for women and their families who experience loss, and become a voice of hope to prevent women and their loved ones from grieving in silence.  May we value and love every little life created by God.

Faith and Your Lasting Legacy

My grandmother June came to know God when she was in middle school.  Her uncle brought her to church when she was about 13 and after that she desired to learn more about God and the saving faith of Jesus.  She went to church on her own after that.  Growing up, watching her, it was obvious what the role of faith was in her life.  Her life was marked by humility.  It's the kind of humility that one does not find anymore, not just evidenced by a life of service, but a true humble spirit that whispers the name of God everywhere.

When I was in high school, I used to stop by my grandparents home often on my way home from school.  I would usually find my grandma in her living room chair with an open bible, worn from repeated use.  She would inevitably offer me a cookie from an orange tupperware container and she would ask all about me, mainly for the purpose of knowing what specifically she would pray for me over the coming days and weeks.  I would then hear her accounts of all of my other cousins and aunts and uncles, and all of the ways she was praying for them, too.  She didn't fail to remind me to pray those same things for them.  If the conversation turned to her, she felt honored, almost unworthy, yet quickly diverted to another topic - she wasn't fond of talking about herself.

She wasn't the well-educated, intellectual type.  She simply sought to know God and devour scripture because she didn't think she really knew enough about him (do any of us?).  When asked many years earlier if she would teach sunday school, she practically said no immediately, convinced she was in no way qualified for such a noble task.  But her intense desire to obey God and serve him outweighed her feelings of inadequacy.  When she passed away I heard probably hundreds of people with accounts of how much having her as a sunday school teacher impacted their lives and their walk with God.  That was really just one of many things too.  She constantly welcomed strangers and outsiders into her home, and lovingly accepted all of our strangers and outsiders too (and I'm certain we all brought along a few questionable characters at some point!).  She loved my grandfather in a way I'm not sure I'll ever be able to emulate.

I could literally go on forever reciting her noble qualities.  But that isn't really what I want to share about her.  When I think about my grandma, I can't help but praise God for her legacy.  I suppose there are a lot of people who talk about legacies, but I mean a special kind - a faith legacy.  I don't think she ever considered the amount of kingdom expansion that was happening as a result of her humble, day-to-day, work.  In fact, I'm nearly sure she considered her contribution to the kingdom rather meager. 

I consider her life and the others in our families who have diligently taught us the faith, and I look at my own family, and the faith of my siblings, cousins, and their children.  I know that none of us would be on this path of faith were it not for her simple, 13-year-old seeking.  And I get overwhelmed with thankfulness for entire generations of believers.

God shows us in the bible that we don't always get to see the bigger fruits of our labors.  The mother of Moses could have never imagined that God would use her rescued son to deliver an entire nation from injustice, slavery and mistreatment.  Ruth followed God to serve Naomi humbly, never knowing that her second marriage to a foreigner would make her the great grandmother of King David and ultimate begetting of the world's Savior.  Even the apostle Paul could not have foreseen that his work in the busy city of Rome, known throughout the world for godlessness and paganism, would transform it over subsequent generations into a sort of "world headquarters" for the church at large. 

In her lifetime, my grandma never knew how far-reaching her faith would be.  Neither do you.  Follow God anyway.  Do with faithfulness the arduous tasks he has put in front of you.  It's inevitable and promised - God will do something really incredible with your faith.  You might not know what it is, but someday, at the feet of Jesus, you will look upon your earthly life amazed at the extraordinary work God did with an ordinary person like you.

All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD, and all your saints shall bless you! They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom and tell of your power, to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures throughout all generations. Psalm 145:10-13

Friends Don't Let Friends Pray Alone

About a year ago, I started leading a women's prayer group at church.  I was pretty reluctant about it at first, since prayer is something that I struggle with a lot.  But the opportunity to lead this group came to me in a way that made it clear that this was God's desire for me.  At the time, I was also feeling burdened by many of the women in our church and their stories, mostly silent to the body of believers, which seemed mendable only through prayer.  So we pray, lifting them up to God, lifting our children, husbands, leaders, and community, being continually touched and changed by our talks with God together.

I never thought much about prayer in groups, probably because I had never done it apart from praying a 5 minute prayer at a bible study or in church.  But God intends for us to pray both individually and together as his people.  Many instances of prayer in the bible are group prayers, most notably the Lord's Prayer (our Father, not my Father) and the Psalms, which were written mainly as corporate prayers.  The early church modeled group prayer too, and throughout the book of Acts we find many examples of Christians coming together in prayer in a variety of circumstances. 

If you don't have a group of people you pray with regularly, I want to challenge you to seek this out.  I have found the following concepts helpful in starting a journey of group prayer.

• Make a designated prayer time.  Meet together for the sole purpose of praying together, and minimize distractions for other conversations.
• Promote respect and confidentiality.  Avoid the temptation to make prayer time into an opportunity for gossip and judging others.  Share only the details needed for the purpose of prayer.
• Pray the scriptures.  There are many accounts in the bible that can be used as group prayers, especially Psalms.  If you can't find words to say, just open the bible.
• Encourage balanced prayer.  In addition to prayer requests, include time for reflection, confession (silent or verbal), and praise/thanksgiving.  This is not only biblical, but heart-changing.
• Use the 6 S method - pray together Subject by Subject, with Short 1-2 sentence prayers.  Use Simple language and pray for Specific requests. Expect Silence and use it for reflection.  Pray in Small groups of 4-6 people (summarized from What Happens When Women Pray).

Apart from having a formal group prayer time, think about ways you can experience group prayer in your day-to-day life.

• When a friend has a need, don't just give a promising "I'll pray for you."  Instead, pray right now with them!
• When YOU have a need, don't only pray about it alone.  Grab a friend and ask them to sit and pray with you; they don't even have to say anything.  
• Incorporate group prayer into your family life.  Pray with your spouse and especially your children, not just at mealtimes or bedtime.  Pray for healing when they get hurt, pray confessionally when they are disciplined - make praying together a part of life, and encourage children to pray out loud too.

I guarantee that you will see God work in powerful and surprising ways.

“Changes take place not when we study about prayer, not when we talk about it, not even when we memorize beautiful Scripture verses on prayer. It is when we actually pray that things begin to happen." - What Happens When Women Pray

What encourages you most when praying with other believers?

A Poem: Repentance

In the old testament, God calls Abraham as the father of the Jewish people.  He promised to give him many descendants and do amazing things through his nation.  But with this promise came much sacrifice for Abraham, including instructions to leave his home country, take his wife, and basically become a nomad.  Over the next several years Abraham moves from place to place.  He has a tent that he uses as his temporary home in all of these foreign lands. 

As Abraham arrives in a new place, the scriptures say that he builds an altar to God.  He does this before he even puts up his tent or unpacks his bags. 

Several months after we moved, I started to ask myself what I have done to construct an altar to God in my new home and city.   I certainly didn't do it before I unpacked the boxes.  I feel like many of us miss these chances to bring glory to God at each new bend in the road.  Every new place, new job, new house, addition to the family, or even each new day or circumstance… with each one comes an opportunity to build an altar to God, and make him the first thing that we tend to.  Perhaps we might do this even before we start asking where the grocery store is or how we are going to manage in our new situation.

It's been a long time since I've written any poetry (I usually leave that to John), but here it is - my altar. 

Repentance

Pride.

I am always right

Argumentative

More important

Unwilling to give

Independent.

This rock weighs me down,

So I toss it aside.

Vanity.

I am beautiful

Ugly

Never perfect enough

Trying to impress

Seeking approval.

This rock weighs me  down,

So I toss it aside.

Greed.

I am unsatisfied

Needing more

Indulgent

Keeping for myself

Stashing up.

This rock weighs me down,

So I toss it aside.

Envy.

I am more deserving

Resentful

Defined by my circumstances

Wishing harm

Entitled.

This rock weighs me down,

So I toss it aside.

Every day I make an altar

Built from my mistakes and frayed edges

Something ordinary and old,

a rock not worthy of much display

But stacking together perfectly

Each a place meant to be

Something to glorify

Repurposed and renovated

A strong tower, reaching heavenward

A pillar of hope.

Here, I bow down,

And bask in the refreshing light of Your smile.

This is Not My Child

In one sense, parenthood is a gradual giving away of one's own child.  If all goes according to design, a parent guides his child on a journey from complete dependence to autonomy.

The process may develop so slowly that you only notice the obvious milestones.  Dropping a child off at his first day of school, watching a 16-year-old drive away, or walking a daughter down the aisle are poignant moments that bring this process into sharper focus.  There is grief mixed with the joy of each step.  It's the grief of giving away your most precious treasure.

On Sunday I baptized my son, and as much joy as that brought our family, it felt like giving him away - all at once.

Baptism is this terrible and wonderful reminder that my child is not my child.  He is God's child.

Ultimately, God did not create Dante to bring me joy, but to bring God joy.

Ultimately, God did not create Dante to love me, but to love God.

Ultimately, God did not create Dante to do my will, but to do God's will.

I need this reminder.  I need it because I tend to take God's gifts and forget that they are God's.  I start acting like those gifts are mine and meant only for me.  My money.  My time.  My life.  My family.  My child.

But this is not my child.  And I am so glad.

This child needs a Father who keeps every promise.  This child needs a Father who never loses His patience.  This child needs a Father who can wash away his sin.

Today, I thank you Lord for entrusting Dante into my care.  Help me to teach him that he is always Yours.