On Homemaking (and Homewrecking)

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1

I read this verse about a month ago, and it was so convicting to me that I haven't been able to forget it.  Every day since then, it has been going on in my head, a true convicting of the Spirit.

I have a sincere desire to build my house - to build up our home and family.  And I, like many other wives and mothers, spend so much of my time and energy investing in my family.  I take care of my home in an attempt to make it an inviting place for us.  I spend time with my kids, attending to their needs.  I feed my family, planning and cooking food that they (mostly) enjoy and is (mostly) nutritious and keeps us in good health.  I love our kids and tell them often and give lots of physical affection.  I seek to help them grow and develop, and I discipline them.  I take interest in their interests and give them ways to explore them.  I notice their weaknesses and give encouragement, patience, and grace.  I listen to my husband, his concerns and triumphs, and support him in his work.  I am an encourager to him, a source of love, and a partner in parenting.

There are so many ways I can and do build up my house!  But after all this building, I too often use my own hands to tear it all apart.  A harsh word leaves little thought to love and affection.  Laziness breeds selfishness.  Lack of discipline leaves our kids feeling unstructured and insecure.  Fighting with my husband leaves dissension that affects not only us but our kids also.  Failure to encourage him leaves him stressed and unable to truly enjoy being with me.  And its so easy for me to blame others for the destruction in our family - when I ought to spend more time protecting and defending what I have been busy building.

This imagery has been so powerful to me.  Every decision I make either builds up a strong wall or knocks it down.  And I have started asking myself - before I pick a fight with my husband or respond in anger to my kids - is this going to build my house?  Or am I just tearing down what I built earlier?   There is nothing more foolish than a builder tearing down her own handiwork.

I'm praying lately that God would give me the strength and wisdom to build.  What decisions have you been making lately that are tearing down your house?

The Lord Has Compassion

My three-year-old likes to run away from me.  I made the mistake once of chasing after her and laughing about it like it was a joke.  Believe it or not, she still thinks it's a joke.

The other evening I was holding her toothbrush asking her to come back when she ran, giggling, directly toward the door jam.

In that in-between moment, when I knew exactly what was about to happen, do you know what my first thought was? 

This is why you should listen to me.

As expected, the door jam did not jump out of the way of her face.  Tears flowed.

Thankfully, my first thought was immediately drowned out by a wave of compassion.  I hurried over to her side, knelt down, wrapped her sobbing head in my arms, and said, I am so sorry you are hurt.  I covered her with kisses and held her until her cries whimpered out.

I love you, sweetie.  I'm sorry you are hurting.

...

I know that a lot of the hurt I experience in my life is caused by my poor decisions.  I refuse to listen to God.  I run away, even while my Father calls me back to himself.  I don't listen.  I run right into all kinds of hurt.

My greatest fear is that in the midst of all my self-inflicted hurt, God will simply shake his head and say. This is why you should listen to me.  You created this problem.  You figure out how to fix it.

Thankfully, Grace doesn't work that way.  Grace says, You created this problem, but I will fix it.  To put it simply, God is a much better parent than I am.

...

Are you hurting?  

Let God hold you.  Let him wrap you up in Grace until your cries whimper out.  Let him be your compassionate Father.

Should you have listened to him?  Of course.  But you know that.  For this moment, in the middle of your hurt, sink your head into his compassionate care and let him hold you.  Find comfort in his words.

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him. Psalm 103:8,10,13

August's Monthly Remix

Every month, we are pulling together some articles, music, videos, or whatever catches our fancy from around the web and putting them in a single post for your convenience.  We call it our Monthly Remix.  Let us know what you think!  Our August Remix:

Seeds Family Worship
We've recently started listening to the Seeds Family Worship series with Vera.  These are word-for-word scripture verses set to music.  There are a lot of resources out there like this, but we actually like listening to these songs compared to other "kid music."  This is our favorite that we've had stuck in our heads all week!



InterVarsity Press Daily Bible Studies
A friend recently showed us this awesome online resource for personal bible study.  IV Press has an online reading plan with thoughtful prompts for reflection. We've been loving it as a daily devotional.  It is great for small groups too.

Portion by Angie Smith
A great reminder if you have ever struggled with unanswered prayers or felt like God is holding out on you.  "Don’t assume He has withheld the best from you because it doesn’t look the way you thought it would."

JJ's House
This past month we participated in a campaign to raise funds for a foster home opening in the city of Detroit.  This couple is allowing God to use them to work mightily in the lives of children in need of love and family.  Over the past couple of years, we've been learning about how interconnected foster care is with other social issues like human trafficking and abortion. 

Indespensable by Wrestling with an Angel
A moving article about a young autistic man and his necessity to the body of Christ.  May we all view others with God's true vision of love without condition.

Should I Make My Child Apologize?
Parenting decisions are difficult.  We found ourselves talking about the question above and then came across this thoughtful response from Jen Wilkin.  What do you think?

A Letter to Kids Before School Starts
A great message to give your kids before they brave the first day of school this year.