Tim was part of my family for a few years.
I first met him when I wasn't even 10 years old and I had no idea who Tim was. He wasn't related to anyone. I didn't particularly like him, either. He smelled like cigarettes.
But there he was, sitting at our Thanksgiving table, heaping Jello on his plate at Christmas, and observing the conversation like he was one of us.
But there he was, sitting at our Thanksgiving table, heaping Jello on his plate at Christmas, and observing the conversation like he was one of us.
My parents first told my brothers and me about Tim as we drove to our grandparents house for Thanksgiving dinner. He didn't have anywhere else to be on the holidays, they said. He had known the family for a while, and we were going to treat him like part of the family.
OK, we said.
But the whole idea sounded weird to me. My problem was I liked my family. I liked being around people I knew - people like me. I wanted to spend those holiday moments with the same people every year. Isn't that what family is all about?
Do you see the inherent danger that faces any group that prides itself on being close like a family? The focus easily turns so inward that there is no more room at the table. There is no extra Jello to pass around. The group members might go on and on about how much they care, support, encourage, and listen, but all of those benefits are limited to a select few. If you're not one of us, the message is clear: you'd better find another place.
My grandparents (and parents) taught me that family can look different. Family has the power to extend the incredible gift of belonging. But every family - and every group that acts like a family - has a choice. They can keep the gift for themselves. Or they can offer the gift to others.
At first, it felt strange to me. But over time, as we welcomed more "Tims" to the table, I came to realize that this was part of who my family was. We did not hoard the blessing of belonging. We extended it. Freely. Joyfully.
God designed his family to work this way. He chose a family - Abraham's family - and promised to bless the entire world through that one family. Fast forward to several years after Easter and some early Jewish Christians believed that God's promises and blessings were reserved for them. The gifts were meant for God's family, and in their thinking that excluded the Gentiles. Paul and the other apostles firmly resisted this inward focus. Writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul reveals the "mystery of Christ" - the surprising, unexpected twist that no one except God saw coming - "that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel" (Ephesians 3:6).
God's family is designed to be an outward-focused family. It seeks to extend the blessing of belonging beyond itself. This is how love multiplies.
Think about the groups you are in - your family, your church, your closest circle of friends, maybe your small group. Do these groups have the tendency to keep the blessing of belonging for themselves? What specific ways can you begin to extend that blessing to others?
At first, it felt strange to me. But over time, as we welcomed more "Tims" to the table, I came to realize that this was part of who my family was. We did not hoard the blessing of belonging. We extended it. Freely. Joyfully.
God designed his family to work this way. He chose a family - Abraham's family - and promised to bless the entire world through that one family. Fast forward to several years after Easter and some early Jewish Christians believed that God's promises and blessings were reserved for them. The gifts were meant for God's family, and in their thinking that excluded the Gentiles. Paul and the other apostles firmly resisted this inward focus. Writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul reveals the "mystery of Christ" - the surprising, unexpected twist that no one except God saw coming - "that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel" (Ephesians 3:6).
God's family is designed to be an outward-focused family. It seeks to extend the blessing of belonging beyond itself. This is how love multiplies.
Think about the groups you are in - your family, your church, your closest circle of friends, maybe your small group. Do these groups have the tendency to keep the blessing of belonging for themselves? What specific ways can you begin to extend that blessing to others?
1 comment:
I just discovered your blog via the HOTS facebook page. What a wonderful story you have shared and how timely as Thanksgiving is fast approaching. It has inspired me to require my family to bring a guest that needs to share in our family rather than a dish to pass ( or maybe both :) I am fairly new to Heart of the Shepherd but truly have been brought into the fold by all the wonderful fellowship and services. Thank you Pastor John for all you do to share the love of our God.
Nancy Keck
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